For the past six months, I’ve written something for you when it came to this day. I don’t think I can break that just yet. This is bittersweet for me in a way, so I hope you don’t mind me doing this. I don’t blame you for what happened between us. I’m not mad at you, I’m not bitter, and I don’t hate you. Despite the fact that you think I should. You did what you had to do. I may not know why, but that’s irrelevant right now. I love you, and I will always love you. Please don’t resent me for saying that. I don’t doubt that I loved you and that I still do. I don’t know if we’ll end up together in the future. If we do, I’ll be sure to remind you so much more how much I love you. Whether it’s a month from now, six months, or fifty years, I hope you remember me and that I once meant something to you. Just remember that I was someone who made you laugh, and that you were able to save me even when I didn’t think I needed saving. You were my best friend, and my confidant. My secret keeper and my story teller. The person I came crying to when I didn’t think I could keep going. You took all of my problems and loved me despite them. They didn’t disappear completely, but god. You really tried. You were the one with our inside jokes, and no one I know can wop like you do. A lot of things are going to make me think of you for a very long time. Whether it’s drinking a frappe, a fruitista, or simply looking at the stars. Maybe it’s going to be every time “Northern Wind” or “The Girl” or any damn City And Colour song comes on. Maybe when I flip the channel and it’s Titanic or The Notebook or Lion King. Maybe everytime I see a box of Digiorno pizza. Maybe it’ll be the fact that every morning before I go to school, a part of me still expects you to be waiting outside by my car. Whatever it is that makes me think of you, I’ll appreciate it and be thankful for it. Because thinking of you could never be a bad thing. No matter what happens, just remember that I’m forever changed by you. Keep me in mind.
“I couldn’t sleep last night because I know that it’s over between us. I’m not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I’ll be seeing you.”
“And when I came in with tears in my eyes, you always knew whether I needed you to hold me or just let me be. I don’t know how you knew, but you did, and you made it easier for me.”
“We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that’s why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I’ll never forget a single moment of it.”
“The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we’ve lived a thousand lives before this one and in each one of them we’ve found. And maybe each time, we’ve been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this good-bye is both a good-bye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come.”
“You and I were different. We came from different worlds, and yet you were the one who taught me the value of love. You showed me what it was like to care for another, and I am a better man because of it. I don’t want you to ever forget that.”
Always,
Marissa.
